My support network

Over the past few weeks, my PTSD has been hitting me hard again. I've been struggling through nightmares and flashbacks that kept me awake at night and left me severely sleep deprived and depressed. The one thing that is different from previous cycles like this, is that I have solid support network in place. This has allowed me to stay focussed and keep on keeping on, as as the saying goes.

I thought I'd share what my support system looks like, for two reasons - first, to show my gratitude and give some credit to those who form part of it, and second - to give other survivors who haven't yet built up such a strong network some things to consider.

So, what does my network look like?

Thoughts on suicide

I've been suicidal.

Who am I kidding? I've made multiple attempts.

There was a time when I simply could not see how I would ever be able to live my life. It was too hard. The pain and guilt was too much to cope with. I had also convinced myself that I was a burden to those who cared about me, and that I would be doing them a favour by removing myself from their lives. I did not deserve to stay alive, to continue to wreck havoc in their lives.

I hated myself that much.

But in the end, it was ok. I found a way to deal with life. I even found happiness. There was a way out of the dark hole of depression and self-loathing after all.