This is an adaptation of a letter I wrote to my girlfriend. Unprepared for the side of me to surfaces when I am triggered, she did and said all the wrong things in her attempt to help. In my hyper-emotional state, I rewarded her efforts with what can only be described as verbal abuse. When I had finished the letter and re-read it, I realised that there much be many other partners of abuse survivors out there who have to deal with confusing emotional outbursts from their significant others. So I post it here, in the hope it will help someone else understand.
Darling,
First I want to start with an apology I know that at times it is difficult to live with me. I know that sometimes I react in ways that are confusing. I promise you that I try to act like a rational adult, but sometimes I can't. I want you to know that it is not your fault. I accept full responsibility for my irrational and hurtful actions. It is my problem, and I am the only person who can change it. I am working hard at this, but it is still a work in progress and probably always will be.However, I don't accept the blame. All the blame goes to the men who abused me and in doing so, rendered me emotionally handicapped.
